The I'm Sorry Syndrome: I'm Sorry For All The Things, Please Excuse My Existence.
You gotta go and get angry at all my honesty, You know I try but I don't do too well with apologies. Is it too late now to say sorry? Because, I'm missing more than just your body.
I apologize for what just happened. Though, not really.
I quoted Bieber, for two reasons. One, some phrases just autocomplete in my head in the form of pop songs because music is such a big part of my life. For example, I can't here the word "hello" without finishing it one of two ways, either "it's me" in the sultry stylings of Adele or with "is it me you're looking for?" in the sultry stylings of Lionel Ritchie. Either way, I'm a little turned on.
Also, two, because it points out how we abuse the phrase "I'm sorry" as a society, and some of us more than others. This habit is often to the detriment of our self esteem and the way we are viewed by our peers. In the case presented by Bieber up there, we also use it as a way to deflect blame and be about as disingenuous as possible. I mean seriously, look at those lyrics. The song starts with the phrase "You gotta go and get angry at all my honesty"... FUCK YOU BIEBER! No, no... I'm not going to let this become about Bieber. That wouldn't be right and that's not the topic. I'm sorry, I'll try not to let that happen again.
Just to get this out of the way and have the ability to use one of my favorite characters that I created for this site, it is important to ask, is saying that you're sorry, bad?
Of course it isn't bad, it is incredibly important to be able to recognize fault and to humble yourself before your social peers when you have genuinely done something wrong. Pride is harmful too. However, you don't need to do that every time you kind of, sort of, maybe, a little bit, could of possibly inconvenienced another person. There is a correlation between the excessive use of the phrase "I'm Sorry" 'cause I'm missing more than just your body.
DAMMIT!
Let me try that again, there is a correlation between the excessive use of apologizing and a lower sense of self. By nature, apologizing is a good thing to do, but it is used as a way to recognize a wrongdoing and fessing up to it. To put yourself under the judgement of another. To do that, constantly, for the smallest of things has to weigh down on a person. However, it is just something that quite a lot of folks do. It is used by some to settle tension, to settle possible tension, to take fault when you are bumped into, to make someone comfortable with you wanting to speak, to fess up for those mistakes you made, maybe once or twice, and by once or twice I mean maybe a couple a hundred times. Which, if that is the case, it's too late to say sorry! Kiss this body goodbye, mister!
... I really like the beat for that song, I mean it is a good beat, catchy, makes you want to move and sing along. On the first few listens, it is a good song. Why is this happening? I have a point to make, dammit!
The point, yes, there is one, is that perhaps finding a new way to look at yourself and your actions could not only help how you view yourself, but also, how others view you. It is important to understand that apologizing is necessary sometimes, but in situations where it isn't necessary, it is often detrimental and immediately makes an interaction have a tinge of negativity.
This topic was inspired by a cute little comic with a big message that I quite liked. It talks about how we often apologize in situations where a phrase like, 'thank you' may be more apt. Say you were supposed to be somewhere and you arrive on time, or just a few minutes late, and the person you are meeting is there. Instinct may be to say "I'm sorry to make you wait," when a more positive response would be to say, "thank you for your patience." Another instance that happens a lot in work situations, is when you have to speak to someone about a job you have to do that involves them, so you approach and start with something like "I'm sorry, I know your time is valuable," when a more apt response would be to say, "thank you for your time." You can see the full comic here, and I highly recommend that you do.
I am guilty of the sorry syndrome too, it feels natural to say that I'll take every single piece of the blame if you want me to.... But you know that there is no innocent one in this game for two.
Is it too late now to say sorry? Yeah, I know that I let you down. Is it too late to say sorry now?
You know what, no, I'm not sorry. That song is both awful and wonderful. It is okay to like what you like, but for gods sake, what the hell Bieber? Why turn such a good beat and put such a douchey message on it? If the song Sorry was a living, breathing, person, I'd hate fuck it.
