Personality Tests. I Just Really Need To Know What Hogwarts House I Belong In!

Personality tests are big business and there are countless surveys out there to fill out and find out what Avengers hero you are, what breed of dog you should be, or which one of Kim Kardashian's ass cheeks best represents you and your desires (which would be to touch one of said cheeks, for science... because those mother fuckers are impossible, they exist, but they can't possibly exist).

This entire week seems to be all about exploring identity, so, I'll end this week of writing with something a little more fun and a little less serious. I shall go down the rabbit hole of personality quizzes and discuss the results, for science!

Not really science, this is so very not science. It is actually quite dumb. However, I shall say that it is for science, so it can be taken a bit more seriously. Let's get started. FOR SCIENCE!

Briggs & Myers Personality Test

This is where I will start. The one personality test that is taken rather seriously for some reason, even though it really has very little reason to be. I suppose it goes pretty in-depth to make sure the boxes it puts you in fits into some sort of smart sounding label, and its 16 possible options are a little more freeing than that of astrology's 12 boxes. Plus it is based on your choices, rather than your date of birth. So, if we are going to take something seriously, rather it be this bullshit. I will find myself a free one, because some places charge you to take this test, which is fucking nuts by the way.

Those are my results, it turns out that as of today, I am classified as a INTP-T personality type. This is defined as the Logician, which is apparently a person whose topic of scholarly study is logic. That entire phrase dumbfounds me, how does one study logic? Isn't that just reading about stuff that is real? As a logician, I only read non-fiction, watch documentaries, and wind down with a good old game of masturbation, because at least all that shit is real. Unlike your fairy tales, super hero movies, and video games!

Anyhow, at least this is on track with my Capricorn like nature. Fuck... there might be something to all these things I'm calling bullshit on. Or not, because NO!

I swear a lot of this changes every time I take this test though, which is like... four times? I guess the introverted part has been consistent for a long time, as that seems to be a part of myself that just simply does not change, unless I am drinking a lot. The first time I took that test, I was drinking and partying pretty consistently to keep my Dark Man at bay. So, I thought I was all into people without making the connection that I could only do that party scene when I was drinking a lot. Yay! Healthy choices!

Stupid For Fun Personality Tests

Now that the big dog test is out of the way, let us go down the path to silly town with the types of quizzes we see most often. Also, I need to write more content for a better word count here, as I have standards. Not high ones or great ones, but standards none the less. I have one rule here, considering the period of time I'm doing this in, I will avoid any and all politically based ones as I don't really care if I identify more with a racist douchebag or a corrupt criminal. Good luck figuring out which of the two I'm referring to with those descriptors.

1. Can We Guess Your Sign (Be sure to use adblocker, lots of ads, and nothing here worth monetizing)

So, this one caught my interest right away as astrology was a very recent topic of my ramblings and now I want to know if this little quiz thing made by a person somewhere who did a thing lines up.

The very first question asked me in what way am I not feeling well. Just assuming that I have to be feeling some sort of ill, because we are human and vulnerable. I had to think hard on this, focus internally and give myself a symptom. I went with achy feet, because in my internal "do I feel shitty?" meditation, I realized my feet had a tingle, so that will do. Next was something about favorite flowers, I went with the blurple colored ones. Next up was... I forgot. Fourth asked me favorite day of the week...

What is my favorite day of the week? I guess most people would say Friday? Fridays are fine. Mondays are universally disliked. Something tells me this test is random and holds very little weight on who you actually identify with. I selected Tuesday because screw it and then realized there were 15 questions total and decided to no longer write out my commentary for every question and just get to the answer.

Nope, not a libra, thanks for trying! Glad my sense of reality hasn't been shattered further. Do I get a prize now, like when those guess your weight/age people are off? I want a big stuffed Greetings Kitty.

2. Which Harry Potter House Do You Belong To?

This one is pretty popular, I don't know anyone who didn't want to be a part of the Harry Potter world that read the books or watched the movies. I know that was one of my biggest drives for continuing to read the books as they came out, I wanted to be in that world so bad. Regardless of how crazy dangerous it was and how quickly anyone could die just by the magical architecture in Hogwarts alone. Though, I do think two of the four houses got the shaft a bit as the real war was between the up-tight do-gooders house vs the why the fuck does this house exist? it is just a bunch of assholes that will later turn into super villains house.

Let me start and just get it done with minimal commentary. I lied, I have to do some commentary, these things are silly. The first question asks me how I would describe myself in a single word and gives me four options. That is quite presumptuous quiz... I think a description of self identity boils down to far more than a word, but fine, I'll play your game! Also, I'll admit, there is a question here that made me laugh out loud. It asked me who my favorite wizard family is and answer number one was "The Blacks."

Yep, love the Blacks, love them Blacks a lot. Totally a good bunch, them Blacks. I selected that one.

Gryffindor! Heck yeah... oh wait, those are the heroes. I don't know if I want that responsibility, those kids get into some serious shit. Sorting hat, you made a mistake! Is it because I chose the Blacks? Dammit, now this is Sirius.

Okay, no more of that. That was fun though, hope you all enjoyed playing along! If you did any of the tests, comment below so we can all share in the shame together. If you got Slytherin though, we are watching you... Evil bastards.

#personalitytest #identity #kardashian #cheeks #science #briggsmyers #harrypotter #gryffindor #blacks #astrology #dumb

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